Self-Love: My Greatest Accomplishment

Everyone has something they’re proud of. For me, one of those things is my journey to self-love.

I know how terribly cheesy that sounds, I agree. But hear me out.

It started when I was young.

I would see all of these strong, confident women that just radiated happiness, and wish I could be like them.

It ended with a newfound appreciation of my own worth and identity.

———

I wanted so badly to be like those people.

You know, the ones who just don’t seem to care what others think.

They have a natural air of confidence, and accomplish whatever they set their mind to. Content with their life and everything in it.

They make it look so easy. But I never thought so.

I’ve always been neurodivergent, but back then that wasn’t really something that was well known or talked about.

So I was just weird.

Consequently, I was the opposite of confident, and I would often do whatever I could not to draw attention to myself, and the fact that I didn’t fit in.

I was socially awkward, and everyday was a struggle.

Self-love, or self-worth wasn’t something I knew anything about.

I always thought of being one of those people who are happy, confident, and content like it was some kind of fantasy.

In the same way people might dream of becoming a rock star.

As time went on, and life experiences made me wiser, I came to a new realization.

I didn’t have to be a whole different person to reach the type of life I once saw as unattainable.

 I just had to be me.

That was the secret.

It has been an incredibly empowering experience and one that has changed my life forever.

Finding Myself

At first, my journey started with a long period of doubt about who I am and what makes me valuable.

All too often, I found myself comparing myself to others in order to measure my worth.

It didn’t help that many people in my life contributed to making me feel like I was never good enough.

Even then, I tried so hard, to be everything they said I should be in order to feel valued.

But, at the end of the day this only led me further away from myself, and left me feeling worthless.

I felt like no one could ever love me as I am.

As much as it hurt, I would try harder, and be better, even if it took sacrificing my very being to do it.

At that point the whole self-love thing was just an imaginary concept people talked about on tv.

The Turning Point

Eventually, I reached rock bottom.

And not the first rock bottom where we initially think we’ve hit the bottom.

The REAL very bottom of the bottoms, hit every wall and jagged edge on the way down kind of rock bottom.

It broke me.

If it weren’t for my kids, I’m not sure I would’ve survived it.

For a while I was numb inside.

Basically, I was going through the days like a ghost.

For the most part, I focused only on making my sure my kids were ok, as we all struggled to heal.

At some point, I became aware of it, and I knew I couldn’t be the mom my kids needed while just existing.

I didn’t really think about self-love at this point either. But, I knew if I was going to move forward, there would be no room for any more bullshit.

I then decided no one else would ever dictate who I was, ever again.

All I needed in my world was my kids. I didn’t care about anything else.

That is when I finally decided I would never try to be what anyone else expected me to be ever again.

I was going to live my life with my kids, we were doing it all our own way from then on.

Learning to be Yourself is a Process

I wish I could say everything was magically better right away.

That I just, you know, woke up the next day full of self-love and a pretty glow all around my smiling face like you see in the movies.

Nope. Doesn’t happen.

The shift in attitude did provide some immediate emotional improvements, but it took a long time to really let go of all the different masks I wore.

I had to figure out what parts of me were really me

Emotional Junk Drawer

It’s kind of like sorting out the junk drawer we all have somewhere in the house.

And this continues, until you’ve dug all of your important parts out of the drawer, and thrown away all of the clutter.

Like the drawer after you’re done organizing it, you feel Cleaner, Accomplished, and Satisfied.

You know where everything is now, because it’s been put back where it belongs.

The Freedom to be You  

As I found my way back to myself, and fully embraced all my parts,
and I finally felt
FREE.

For the first time in my entire life, I didn’t have to carry all that junk around anymore.

The burden of other peoples expectations of me was no longer mine to carry.

The only thoughts I heard now were my own.

I was starting to understand what self-love really meant.

When I could finally see myself for who I was, I found I did love this person.

I was everything I always wanted to be.

And you know what,
other people liked me too.

The relationships I started to build were more genuine.

I no longer had to worry about maintaining an illusion of being someone I thought they’d like.

My circle is small, but everyone in it knows me, loves me, and accepts me, just as I am.

Living without judgement or fear,

The Power Of Self-Awareness

This shift in mindset opened so many doors for me.

With this newfound self-confidence and understanding, not only did I finally feel comfortable in my own skin – but it felt like anything was possible.

I adapted my lifestyle to one that suited me.

I could do and accomplish whatever I set my mind to.

My goals were based on what I truly wanted, instead of others’ expectations.

My home is now a sanctuary for me and my family.

We have a place where we can feel safe to be ourselves and live as we wish.

The Impact Of Believing In Yourself

With faith in my own worthiness, peace has come flooding into my life as an inevitable consequence of finally accepting all aspects of myself.

New opportunities are presenting themselves now that my energy is flowing from a place grounded in love, rather than comparison or insecurity.

The impact has been profound –

Not just for me personally, but for those around me too.

My kids, and my family, are all following suit on their own journeys of self-acceptance.

Talk about setting a good example.

You are Worth it.

It may seem impossible at times, but our greatest accomplishments begin with believing we are capable of them – even if we can’t always see how it will unfold yet.

Everyone’s first step will be different.

Each person’s “junk drawer” will be filled with their own collection of shit to sort through.

We all look in that damn drawer every time we open it, and say meh, I’ll get to it later. I’ll just close it again and forget it exists.

Don’t do it.

Clean Out Your Drawer

Create your life around who you ARE, and who you are MEANT TO BE.

You might think you can’t, because you are afraid of what, or who, you will find buried in all that junk.

Yourself.

You will find YOURSELF

Whoever that ends up being, HAS to be better than being someone you’re not.

Find yourself. Be yourself. Love yourself.

—for ourselves, for our peers, and even our future generations too—

Because it allows us to step into our power with courage and grace knowing exactly who we are meant to be.

So if you’re struggling with self-doubt, self-love, or even fear right now, just remember:

You have everything inside you already,
you just need to FIND IT.